10 Phone Habits Older Americans Consider Rude
For people who grew up with a rotary phone on the kitchen wall, today’s phone habits can be a shock. Back then, a phone call was a planned event. You dialed carefully, kept the call short if it was long distance, and never, ever let the phone interrupt dinner. Phones stayed at home, and conversations happened face to face.
Now, almost everyone carries a phone everywhere, and the rules have changed. The Pew Research Center reports that nearly all American adults now own a cellphone, and most have smartphones. Older Americans use them too, but many still find certain habits plainly rude. Here are ten phone habits that older Americans often consider rude, and why they bother them so much.
1. Using Phones at the Dinner Table
For many older Americans, the dinner table was sacred. It was a place for family conversation, and interruptions weren’t allowed. Seeing people scroll through their phones during a meal, at home or in a restaurant, feels disrespectful to them.
Many older adults say they’d love to see families put their phones away at meals. It’s one of the things polite people never do at the dinner table, according to etiquette experts.
2. Talking on Speakerphone in Public
Hearing someone’s entire phone conversation on speakerphone in a store, waiting room or restaurant drives many older Americans crazy. They don’t want to hear both sides of a private conversation.
To them, talking loudly on speakerphone in public shows a lack of consideration for others. They’d prefer people hold the phone to their ear or step outside.
3. Texting During a Conversation
Few things feel more dismissive than talking to someone who keeps looking at their phone. Many older people find it rude when someone texts or scrolls while they’re speaking.
They see it as a sign that the person isn’t really listening or doesn’t value the conversation. Eye contact and attention were basic manners when they were growing up.
4. Never Answering Calls
Many older Americans prefer phone calls to texts. They find it frustrating when younger relatives never answer calls and only respond by text, sometimes hours later.
To older generations, a phone call feels more personal and polite. Some feel ignored when their calls always go to voicemail.
5. Watching Videos Without Headphones
Playing videos, music or games out loud on a phone in public places like buses, waiting rooms and airplanes bothers many people, especially older adults. They see it as noise pollution. Many say that headphones are a simple courtesy everyone should use in shared spaces.
6. Video Calls in Public
Making video calls in public, often with the volume up, is another habit many older people find rude. Not only do others have to hear the conversation, but they may also end up on camera without agreeing to it. Older adults often suggest that video calls be saved for private settings.
7. Filming Everything
At concerts, weddings, school plays and even funerals, many people now hold up their phones to record. Older Americans often find this distracting, both for the people around them and for the performers. Many say people should put down their phones and enjoy the moment instead of watching it through a screen.
8. Phones Ringing in Church or at Funerals
A phone ringing during a church service, funeral, wedding ceremony or performance is a major breach of etiquette for many older people. They believe phones should be silenced or turned off in these settings. To them, it shows a lack of respect for the occasion and the people around them.
9. Scrolling While Someone Is Talking to You
Whether it’s a cashier, a waiter or a family member, many older Americans are bothered when people scroll through their phones while someone is speaking to them. It sends the message that the phone is more important than the person. They believe giving people your full attention is a basic courtesy that has been lost.
10. Ignoring Voicemails
Many older adults leave detailed voicemails, only to find out that younger relatives never listen to them. Some younger people even call back and ask, “What did you want?” without listening to the message.
To older Americans, ignoring a voicemail is like ignoring a letter. It feels dismissive of the effort they made to communicate.
Why These Habits Bother Older Americans
Older Americans grew up with different rules about communication. Phone calls were special, conversations were face to face, and good manners meant giving people your full attention. Many of those rules have faded, as this list of etiquette rules that have disappeared shows.
Younger generations often see phones differently, as tools for staying connected all the time. Neither view is entirely wrong, but the differences can cause tension.
Manners That Never Go Out of Style
Etiquette experts say that many phone manners come down to the same basic idea older Americans grew up with: be considerate of the people around you. That means giving people your full attention, keeping your voice down in public and not making others listen to your private business.
Those principles apply no matter what kind of technology we use. A phone call, a text or a video chat can all be polite or rude depending on how and when we use them. Many younger people agree with these rules once they think about how it feels to be ignored in favor of a screen.
Families who agree on a few simple phone rules, like no phones at the dinner table or during family gatherings, often find that everyone enjoys their time together more. Younger family members may even come to appreciate the break from their screens.
Finding a Middle Ground
Many families are finding ways to bridge the gap, like phone-free dinners, calling older relatives instead of texting and silencing phones at gatherings. Small courtesies can go a long way.
Older Americans can also try to understand why younger people prefer texting and why phones are so central to their lives. Which phone habit bothers you the most, and have you set any phone rules in your family?
