9 Grandparenting Rules Boomers Follow That Their Kids Don’t Agree With

Boomer grandparents raised their children in a very different world. They followed the advice of their own parents, their pediatricians, and popular parenting books of the 1960s, 1970s, and 1980s. Many of their kids turned out just fine, and they’re proud of the job they did.

So when their adult children hand them a long list of rules for the grandkids, some boomers bristle. Why can’t the baby sleep on her tummy? What’s wrong with a little rice cereal in the bottle? Why can’t the kids play outside without someone watching every minute? To many grandparents, it feels like their experience is being questioned.

Some of these disagreements are simply differences in style. Others involve safety advice that has changed because researchers learned more. Here are nine grandparenting rules many boomers still follow that their adult children often disagree with, and what experts say now.

1. Putting Babies to Sleep on Their Tummies

Many boomers were told to put their babies to sleep on their stomachs, because doctors worried that babies might choke if they spit up while lying on their backs. It was standard advice for years.

That advice changed in the 1990s. In 1994, a national campaign called Back to Sleep began urging parents to place babies on their backs, after research linked stomach sleeping to sudden infant death syndrome. The campaign, now called Safe to Sleep, is credited with helping reduce SIDS deaths significantly. This is one rule where parents have good reason to insist.

2. Blankets, Pillows, and Bumpers in the Crib

Boomers often decorated cribs with soft blankets, quilts, pillows, stuffed animals, and padded bumpers. A cozy crib seemed like a loving crib. Many grandparents still want to tuck the baby in under a handmade quilt.

Today, pediatricians recommend a bare crib with only a firm mattress and a fitted sheet for babies under one year. Soft bedding can increase the risk of suffocation. Many parents now use wearable blankets or sleep sacks instead. Grandparents’ quilts can still be treasured, just not in the crib.

3. Rice Cereal in the Bottle

Many boomer parents added rice cereal to their babies’ bottles to help them sleep through the night. It was a common tip passed from mother to mother. Some grandparents still suggest it when a baby is fussy.

Pediatricians now generally advise against it unless a doctor recommends it for a specific medical reason. Adding cereal to a bottle can cause babies to take in too many calories and may increase the risk of choking. Most experts say solid foods should be introduced with a spoon, usually around six months.

4. A Little Whiskey on the Gums for Teething

Some boomers remember their own parents rubbing a little whiskey or brandy on a teething baby’s gums. It was an old home remedy for sore gums, and some grandparents still mention it with a laugh.

Doctors strongly advise against giving babies any alcohol, even in tiny amounts. Babies’ bodies can’t process alcohol safely. Today, parents use chilled teething rings, gentle gum massage, and doctor-approved pain relievers instead.

5. A Swat on the Bottom

Many boomers grew up with spanking as a normal form of discipline, and many used it with their own children. Some believe a swat on the bottom is a reasonable way to correct bad behavior, and they may be surprised when their adult children object.

The American Academy of Pediatrics now advises against spanking, saying research links it to more aggressive behavior and other problems later on. Most parents today use timeouts, loss of privileges, and calm conversations instead. Many families agree that grandparents should leave discipline to the parents.

6. Letting Kids Play Outside Unsupervised

Many boomers spent their childhoods riding bikes around the neighborhood, exploring the woods, and coming home only when the streetlights came on. They believe kids today need more of that freedom, and they’re often happy to send the grandkids outside to play alone.

Some parents agree that more independence is good for kids, while others worry about traffic, strangers, and other risks. The right answer often depends on the child’s age, the neighborhood, and the family’s comfort level. It’s a common area for respectful compromise.

7. Insisting on Old-Fashioned Manners

Boomer grandparents often expect grandchildren to say “please,” “thank you,” “yes, ma’am,” and “no, sir,” to write thank-you notes, and to greet adults properly. Many believe manners are disappearing, and they want to help pass them on.

Most parents appreciate this, but some feel that certain rules, like forcing children to hug relatives, are outdated. Many modern parents prefer to let children choose how to greet people, such as with a wave or a high-five. Grandparents and parents can usually find common ground on the importance of kindness and respect.

8. Flexible Bedtimes and Extra TV

At Grandma’s house, many rules relax. Kids stay up late, watch extra television, and eat treats they don’t get at home. Grandparents often see this as part of the fun of being a grandparent. After all, they did their time enforcing rules.

Parents sometimes struggle when the kids come home overtired and cranky. Many families agree on a few key rules, like bedtime on school nights, while letting the rest slide during special visits. A little spoiling is often seen as harmless.

9. Showering the Grandkids With Gifts

Many boomers love to buy gifts for their grandchildren, sometimes more than parents think is necessary. Toys, clothes, and treats pile up at birthdays and holidays. For grandparents who grew up with little, giving generously can feel deeply meaningful.

Some parents worry about clutter or about children expecting too much. Many families now suggest experiences instead of things, like zoo memberships, lessons, or special outings with Grandma and Grandpa. Those experiences often become treasured memories.

Why These Disagreements Happen

Most of these disagreements come from love. Grandparents want to care for their grandchildren the way they cared for their own children, and parents want to follow the latest advice. Both sides are trying to do what’s best.

The key is communication. When parents explain the reasons behind their rules, especially safety rules, most grandparents are willing to adjust. Many of these conflicts appear in lists of grandparent habits that frustrate grown children.

Finding Common Ground

Grandparents bring wisdom, patience, and love that children need. Parents bring updated knowledge and the final say on how their children are raised. When both respect each other’s roles, families thrive.

Many families find that agreeing on a few non-negotiable safety rules, while allowing some flexibility on everything else, works well. Both generations want the same thing: to raise a well-behaved child who feels loved.

Which grandparenting rule causes the most debate in your family, and how did you settle it? Many readers say bedtime at Grandma’s house is the hardest rule to enforce.