6 Common Marriage Problems Reported by People Seeking Therapy

Marriage is built around two people sharing a life, but that does not mean they will always experience the relationship in the same way.

Over time, differences in expectations, communication styles, personal habits, and priorities can become sources of frustration. Sometimes, partners who once felt closely connected find themselves struggling to understand each other.

A 2022 study by William J. Doherty and Steven M. Harris examined 101 people who had sought or were receiving individual therapy for relationship difficulties. Six recurring concerns emerged: growing apart, difficulty communicating, sexual problems, a spouse’s personal habits, money disagreements, and infidelity.

These findings reflect the experiences of that particular group, not a universal ranking of marriage problems or complaints specific to husbands. A separate 1997 survey of couple therapists identified several overlapping concerns.

Here are six common relationship difficulties highlighted by the research and how they can appear in everyday married life.

Growing Apart Emotionally

One of the relationship concerns identified in the 2022 study was growing apart. This describes a situation in which married partners gradually begin to feel less connected or find that their lives are moving in different directions.

A couple might once have enjoyed spending evenings together, discussing their plans and sharing hobbies. Years later, their routines may look completely different. One partner might spend most evenings focused on work, while the other prefers social activities or family commitments. They may still share a home and responsibilities but have fewer meaningful interactions.

Growing apart does not necessarily mean that either person has stopped loving the other. It can simply describe a change in how connected partners feel or how they experience their relationship.

A separate study by Whisman, Dixon and Johnson (1997), which examined couple therapists’ perspectives, identified a lack of loving feelings among important problems encountered in couple therapy. Although related to emotional distance, this was a distinct concern in a different study.

Struggling to Communicate

Communication difficulties were another recurring concern in the 2022 study. Being able to discuss everyday matters is an important part of sharing a life, but disagreements can become frustrating when partners struggle to explain their concerns or understand each other’s positions.

Consider a couple who disagree about how household responsibilities should be divided. One person may feel overwhelmed, while the other believes the arrangement is fair. Instead of reaching an understanding, they repeatedly revisit the same disagreement without resolving it.

Over time, even relatively ordinary discussions about schedules, family plans or household decisions can become uncomfortable. The issue is not necessarily that partners disagree, but that they find it difficult to talk through those differences.

Communication problems also appeared in the 1997 study by Whisman, Dixon and Johnson, which examined the perspectives of therapists working with couples. Its findings reinforce that difficulty communicating has long been recognized as an important concern in couple relationships.

Sexual Dissatisfaction and Intimacy Problems

Differences surrounding physical intimacy can also become a source of dissatisfaction in marriage. The 2022 study identified sexual problems among the relationship concerns reported by its participants.

Spouses may have different expectations about intimacy, experience changes in their interest, or disagree about how much physical closeness they want. These differences can become difficult to discuss, particularly when one partner feels uncomfortable raising the subject.

For example, one spouse might view physical affection as an important part of feeling connected, while the other may place greater emphasis on spending quality time together or expressing affection in different ways. Neither perspective automatically means that something is wrong with the relationship.

The important distinction is that sexual dissatisfaction is its own relationship concern. It should not be confused with emotional distance or a lack of loving feelings. Couples can experience challenges with intimacy without necessarily having lost affection for one another.

Frustrations With a Partner’s Personal Habits

Living with another person means becoming familiar with their routines, preferences, and everyday behaviors. While some differences are easy to accommodate, others can become recurring sources of irritation.

The 2022 study included a spouse’s personal habits or problems among the concerns reported by people seeking individual therapy for relationship difficulties. This category highlights how everyday behavior can become part of wider relationship dissatisfaction.

For example, imagine a couple with different approaches to household organization. One partner prefers to put everything away immediately, while the other is comfortable leaving certain items around until later. Neither approach necessarily makes someone a bad spouse, but repeated disagreements about the same issue can become frustrating.

Similar differences might involve morning routines, household schedules, or personal preferences. A habit that initially seemed minor may become more noticeable when partners share responsibilities and living space.

These examples are illustrations rather than specific experiences attributed to the study participants. The broader point is that ordinary differences in behavior can become difficult when spouses have different expectations about daily life.

Money Disagreements

Financial differences can affect more than a household budget. They can also create disagreements about priorities, responsibilities, and the kind of future a couple wants to build together.

How a spouse handles money appeared among the six frequently reported relationship concerns in the 2022 study. Partners may have different attitudes toward saving, spending, borrowing, or planning for major purchases.

Consider a married couple deciding what to do with an unexpected amount of extra money. One partner might prefer to put it into savings, while the other would rather use it for a family holiday or an overdue household purchase. Both may have reasonable reasons for their preferences, but reaching an agreement can be difficult.

Other disagreements might involve how much to spend on personal interests, how to divide household expenses, or whether a particular purchase is necessary. These situations can become particularly frustrating when partners have different financial expectations.

Money disagreements do not look the same in every marriage. Some couples combine their finances, while others maintain separate accounts or use a mixture of both arrangements. The concern identified in the study was how a spouse handles money, not one particular approach to managing household finances.

Infidelity and Broken Trust

Infidelity was the sixth relationship concern identified in the 2022 study. It also appeared among important problems encountered by couple therapists in the 1997 research by Whisman, Dixon and Johnson.

An affair can introduce difficult questions about honesty, commitment, and the future of a marriage. For the partner who discovers it, the experience may change how they view the relationship and their understanding of what happened between them.

Even when spouses have been together for many years, discovering that one partner has been unfaithful can make previously familiar aspects of their relationship feel uncertain.

Consider a couple who had built their routines around shared responsibilities, family activities, and future plans. After an affair comes to light, conversations about those same plans may become much more complicated. The partners may no longer have the same understanding of their commitment or what they expect from each other.

Infidelity is the specific category identified in the research. Other situations involving dishonesty or broken promises can also illustrate trust-related difficulties, but they should not automatically be treated as findings from the study’s infidelity category.

Not every marriage responds to infidelity in the same way. Its impact and what happens afterward depend on the circumstances and the people involved.